Old Friends

Top among my list of things to thank the Lord for in my prayer this morning was the blessing of re-establishing communication with three very good former classmates from my secondary school days in Hong Kong - two of them now residing in Hong Kong and the third one in Vancouver.

Using old-fashioned technology – telephone – one of the two former classmates in Hong Kong was able to track down the other one. From there, new - or newer - technology took over: the two of them emailed me, I added in the email of the Vancouver classmate, and suddenly emails were flying in and out of our email boxes like swarming minnows in the waters of Toogood Pond as the four of us scrambled to bring one another up to speed on almost forty years of activities and changes.

The feeling was amazing and at the same time a little strange, joyful and yet a little sad, sweet but inexplicably heart heavy. Everything that we used to know so well about each other – how we wrote, how we expressed ourselves, how we reacted to things, what each one of us liked or didn't like, our different inclinations and emotions, etc. – suddenly became quite unfamiliar. So you observed, you asked, you savored the familiar traits that remained and adjusted to the new ones that caught you off balance - it’s almost like starting all over again! The experience was fascinating and exciting to say the least.

Of the two former classmates in Hong Kong, one is a teacher and a scholar due for retirement in short order; the other one is a former government official but is now retired. The Vancouver friend is not only my former secondary school classmate; we also studied together and graduated from the same university in Canada. Being a financial advisor overseeing numerous investment portfolios, he can’t see how his clients will allow him to retire before 75.

As we get older, we come to appreciate old friends even more. Not only do they bring sweet memories and love; the time you spent with them, the interactions, the mere experience of growing up together, the companionship, the laughter and the tears - every moment of those youthful days has now become an integral part of your life. In a very real way, they are the people who define who you are. This is why I was thankful in my morning prayer: rediscovering a piece of me that had been missing for years. The rediscovery, joyful and sweet as it is, is like a jolt that triggers in my heart, and I'm sure in theirs as well, an eruption of euphoria and nostalgia together with a good mix of sadness and helplessness. Sad because those youthful images still vivid on your mind are in stark contrast to what you see; helpless because you realize that nobody, including yourself, can withstand the unrelenting and ever-forward-moving wheel of time.

Emails are still going back and forth among us as I write. As soon as all the emotions have subsided, our lives would probably return to normal. Tardiness might once again get in our way and we might not hear much from each other. But the friendship that has withstood almost 40 years of inactivity and somehow emerged strong and untarnished will surely continue to live on. For safe and sacred in our hearts is a special quarter carved out specifically for the occupation of this very special inhabitant - our friendship old as wine.

A Second Conversion

In witnessing to God’s love and the power of the Gospel, I often share with people through my church programs and speaking engagements the amazing experience of my personal spiritual conversion in the nineties when moved by the Spirit I started reading Vatican II, Catholicism of the Catholic Church, Church Fathers, Scott Hahn, etc., and eventually ended up studying theology and retiring early to serve God. The conversion was intense, the duration lengthy, and the outcome drastic. My personal comfort zone was destabilized, and my life turned up side down. The experience has helped me to relate well to some of the famous conversion stories in the Bible, particularly those of St. Paul (Acts 9) and St. Peter (Luke 5:1-11).

However, if my conversion in the nineties was like a Big Bang from which my spiritual life emerged anew, my awakening in the subsequent years to the importance of the virtue of humility was akin to another powerful conversion that added substance to my new life and turned the initial big splash into a lasting and sustainable journey.

Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word (Luke 1:38).

Mary’s words of faith, obedience, and humility will always resonate in my heart as I continue to battle to wrestle to the ground the beast in me that speaks deceitful and boastful language “from the mouth of the dragon, from the mouth of the beast, and from the mouth of the false prophet” (Rev 13:16). No less useful in this regard is St. Paul's beautiful teaching below, which has become the guideline that I follow to the letter in using the spiritual gifts that God has graciously given me to minister to Him in our church community:

For by the grace given to me I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than one ought to think, but to think soberly, each according to the measure of faith that God has apportioned. For as in one body we have many parts, and all the parts do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another. Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us exercise them: if prophecy, in proportion to the faith; if ministry, in ministering; if one is a teacher, in teaching; if one exhorts, in exhortation; if one contributes, in generosity; if one is over others, with diligence; if one does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness (Romans 12:3-8).

Deceiving Dreams and Crafty Speeches of the Politicians

Olivia Chow had just delivered a 15-minute speech to launch her campaign to become the mayor of Toronto. It was a very good speech - a typical politician's speech that touched many hearts but provided no specific promises or actions, a spirit-lifting and motivational rally that brought hope which we know will vanish as soon as everyone returns to the political reality of the City. But that's what the politicians do, that's what they are good at, whether it's George W. Bush or Clinton, Jean Chrietien or Harper, Mayor Ford or Olivia Chow. We, the good citizens who will be at the mercy of these political candidates once they are given the authority and power, are like mindless little children: no matter how many times we've been taken to the cleaners, we are still happy to hop on the merry-go-round to enjoy the dreams deceivingly weaved up, and the speeches craftily delivered, by our politicians.

Spring Fever!

It's been a very long winter here in Canada. Windchill of -14°C this morning (-8°C no windchill). Can you imagine!

But the sun is shinning bright. It's March already; March 20 is the first day of spring; and we are moving the clock ahead by 1 hour this Sunday. If my imagination was not playing tricks on me, I think I even heard a bird trying out its long-forgotten tunes this morning.

Hopefully winter would finally let go of its strangling hold on the collective throat of this poor northern nation!

The Undelivered Letter

Copied below is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to Sister Marie Ancilla Ouang 3 days ago:

Whenever we meet, Sister, we often talk about the Church and the Catholic faith. Here’s some faith-related news that might be of interest to you. During the Windsor CCC gathering last night, Virginia, the hostess, gave me a magazine published by the “Communion and Liberation” movement...In the magazine, the movement’s current president, Julián Carrón, commented on the recent terrorist attack at the Westgate Mall of Nairobi, Kenya: "The issue is whether or not you have met something that can stand up to the fallout of the terrorist attack. Do we have a certainty that can withstand this impact? The challenge is for a situation like this to be the occasion to grow in the certainty of Christ." Life is indeed full of uncertainties. For the followers of Christ, we have the only certainty that counts – the love of Christ. It can withstand even a terrorist attack. I know for you it can withstand this unfortunate accident too…

Since Sister Ouang had been hospitalized, I was unable to reach her. As a result, the letter had been sitting on my desk, undelivered. Never would I have guessed that this would be my last letter to her, and she would never read it.

Yes, life is full of uncertainties. While the news was unexpected and the loss of a good spiritual friend and mentor a heart-shattering and painful experience, it's good to know that Sister passed away peacefully in her sleep this morning. At this very moment, she's probably all smiles and resting comfortably in God's bosom because now she has the only certainty that counts - the love of Christ.

In witnessing to the Good News of Christ since my personal spiritual conversion, I often told people how Sister Ouang, an honest and straight shooter who minced no words, woke me up from my spiritual slumber by calling me a "cafeteria Catholic" during a family group meeting many years ago. Up until two months ago - the last time Sister and I met - I still thanked her for "straightening me out" because I considered her honesty a much needed wake-up call or medicine that God had prescribed to kick-start my personal spiritual conversion.

The Chinese Catholic community in Canada has experienced unbelievable trials and perils in the last year or so. Now through the communion of saints we know that in the court of heaven we have one more beautiful and righteous soul who will pray for us incessantly. As we mourn the loss of a faithful servant of God who loved the Church dearly, let's pray that Sister Ouang will chime in with the heavenly host of angels to bring peace and blessings to the Chinese Catholic community, particularly those in the GTA whom she had served with love and dedication for so many years.

*** EPILOGE *** (Added on March 2, 2014)

I had the honour of being one of Sister Ouang's pall-bearers in her funeral. On that frigid, bone-chilling day of January, in the austerity and simplicity of the Toronto winter that characterized so well the life of this distinguished servant of God, I joined Sister Ouang's family members and friends to bid her our last farewell as we huddled and shivered under a tent erected to provide the guests with temporary shelter. Together with a white carnation and the pall-bearer's gloves, I left on top of her casket the undelivered letter....

What Do the Clergy Know About Romances?

So people say our priests are in no position to tell the faithful how to live as dating and married couples because they generally have no experience in these areas due to their commitment to celibacy. But little do they know that falling in love and living in marriage are in many ways similar to our relationship with God. In fact, the two are closely intertwined. So much so, we believe that conjugal love - the love between husband and wife - is a human experience that God gives us so that through this experience we will understand faith - our loving relationship with God -better and live in love with Him.

Due to their special vocational calling, the clergy and those called to consecrated celibacy know faith, i.e. the loving relationship between God and man, in a special and deeper way. They have committed their whole life to this faith and are living it everyday. Since faith and conjugal love are similar and intertwined, what they know about faith enables them to teach the faithful how to deal with conjugal love. Here’s a priest whose profound insights about faith, if properly understood in the context of conjugal love, will benefit many dating and married couples tremendously. To make them simple and understandable, I have summarized them in my own words. In order to show the commonality between faith and conjugal love, the words used by the priest to describe faith (believe, God, faith, etc.) are shown together with the words we normally use to describe conjugal love (fall in love, woman, love, etc.). Such words are italicized and shown in brackets. Also, being male, I use “man” as the subject and “woman” the object. The female readers can certainly change them around. Here we go:

- A man believes (falls in love) not because of scientific evidence but because his heart is touched by God (by the woman he loves). Faith (love) is a matter of one’s personal encounter with God (with the woman he loves) (pp. 19-23).

- Man can do everything else against his will, but he can believe (fall in love) only of his free will (p. 23).

- Believing (falling in love) is the result of a dialogue: God (the woman a man loves) touches his heart, he recognizes the touch, his heart enlightens his understanding, assent follows (i.e. this is the woman I need!). After the assent, the believer (the man) will continue to struggle as part of his faith journey (as part of the love journey) (pp. 24-26).

- Believing (falling in love) is the mind being “captured” to follow the heart. It is captured by God’s (by the woman’s) touch. Once touched, the heart is set in motion to assent, and the mind has to catch up with the heart. Therefore, theology (love) is like a pilgrim journey – a journey in which the mind is constantly chasing the heart, and the heart pulling the mind (pp. 24-26).

Who is this priest who is such a profound and romantic lover? Joseph Cardinal Razinger, who subsequently became Pope Benedict XVI. His theological insights are summarized from his book, Pilgrim Fellowship of Faith – The Church as Communion; and the related pages shown in brackets.

My Fountain of Love and Life Christmas Button Brings Love!

The Starbucks at beautiful and historic Main Street, Unionville was busy as usual when I hurried in during the hectic morning hours, happy to take a momentary shelter from the bone-chilling temperatures outside. The weather was as brutal as I could remember for the longest time at this time of the year. It was a long line-up. The customers were getting restless as the minutes ticked away and the time available for reporting to work got shorter. The attendant at the counter was working away methodically. While still friendly, her eyes were showing stress as she glanced nervously at the line that seemed to get only longer. Finally it was my turn.

"Tall blonde please," I gave her my order hastily and handed her my Starbucks gold card. For some reason unknown to me, her tired eyes suddenly lighted up and her face broke into a broad and hearty smile. "I like that!" she said staring at my chest. "I should get one of those!" she continued, letting down the guard that was usually there behind her professional friendliness, and warming up to me as though I were a good old high-school pal of hers.

Following her stare, I looked at my chest curiously. Then I finally realized what she was saying: loosely clipped to my parka was a Fountain of Love and Life Christmas button that said, “It’s OK to say Merry Christmas to me!”

I know what the button is for. It’s a declaration of my personal belief in the true meaning of Christmas; it’s a sign of recognition that tickles people’s nostalgia for the good old times; it’s my personal protest against the Christian culture in general that has become too eager to conform to the secular world by adopting an “all-inclusive” identity that effectively means no identity. It is many things but perhaps none more important than the fact that it has become a bridge, a common denominator, if you will, that breaks down human barriers and connects me with strangers who suddenly see in me the love of Christ that seems to have disappeared at this special time of the year when it’s supposed to shine most brightly.

“Merry Christmas!” the Starbucks attendant handed me my tall blonde cheerfully and smiled at me one more time to see me off lovingly. I had walked into the store feeling like a piece of frozen meat. But now I walked out with my coffee in hand and a heart filled with warmth and joy all because of a Christmas button!