The Undelivered Letter

Copied below is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to Sister Marie Ancilla Ouang 3 days ago:

Whenever we meet, Sister, we often talk about the Church and the Catholic faith. Here’s some faith-related news that might be of interest to you. During the Windsor CCC gathering last night, Virginia, the hostess, gave me a magazine published by the “Communion and Liberation” movement...In the magazine, the movement’s current president, Julián Carrón, commented on the recent terrorist attack at the Westgate Mall of Nairobi, Kenya: "The issue is whether or not you have met something that can stand up to the fallout of the terrorist attack. Do we have a certainty that can withstand this impact? The challenge is for a situation like this to be the occasion to grow in the certainty of Christ." Life is indeed full of uncertainties. For the followers of Christ, we have the only certainty that counts – the love of Christ. It can withstand even a terrorist attack. I know for you it can withstand this unfortunate accident too…

Since Sister Ouang had been hospitalized, I was unable to reach her. As a result, the letter had been sitting on my desk, undelivered. Never would I have guessed that this would be my last letter to her, and she would never read it.

Yes, life is full of uncertainties. While the news was unexpected and the loss of a good spiritual friend and mentor a heart-shattering and painful experience, it's good to know that Sister passed away peacefully in her sleep this morning. At this very moment, she's probably all smiles and resting comfortably in God's bosom because now she has the only certainty that counts - the love of Christ.

In witnessing to the Good News of Christ since my personal spiritual conversion, I often told people how Sister Ouang, an honest and straight shooter who minced no words, woke me up from my spiritual slumber by calling me a "cafeteria Catholic" during a family group meeting many years ago. Up until two months ago - the last time Sister and I met - I still thanked her for "straightening me out" because I considered her honesty a much needed wake-up call or medicine that God had prescribed to kick-start my personal spiritual conversion.

The Chinese Catholic community in Canada has experienced unbelievable trials and perils in the last year or so. Now through the communion of saints we know that in the court of heaven we have one more beautiful and righteous soul who will pray for us incessantly. As we mourn the loss of a faithful servant of God who loved the Church dearly, let's pray that Sister Ouang will chime in with the heavenly host of angels to bring peace and blessings to the Chinese Catholic community, particularly those in the GTA whom she had served with love and dedication for so many years.

*** EPILOGE *** (Added on March 2, 2014)

I had the honour of being one of Sister Ouang's pall-bearers in her funeral. On that frigid, bone-chilling day of January, in the austerity and simplicity of the Toronto winter that characterized so well the life of this distinguished servant of God, I joined Sister Ouang's family members and friends to bid her our last farewell as we huddled and shivered under a tent erected to provide the guests with temporary shelter. Together with a white carnation and the pall-bearer's gloves, I left on top of her casket the undelivered letter....

What Do the Clergy Know About Romances?

So people say our priests are in no position to tell the faithful how to live as dating and married couples because they generally have no experience in these areas due to their commitment to celibacy. But little do they know that falling in love and living in marriage are in many ways similar to our relationship with God. In fact, the two are closely intertwined. So much so, we believe that conjugal love - the love between husband and wife - is a human experience that God gives us so that through this experience we will understand faith - our loving relationship with God -better and live in love with Him.

Due to their special vocational calling, the clergy and those called to consecrated celibacy know faith, i.e. the loving relationship between God and man, in a special and deeper way. They have committed their whole life to this faith and are living it everyday. Since faith and conjugal love are similar and intertwined, what they know about faith enables them to teach the faithful how to deal with conjugal love. Here’s a priest whose profound insights about faith, if properly understood in the context of conjugal love, will benefit many dating and married couples tremendously. To make them simple and understandable, I have summarized them in my own words. In order to show the commonality between faith and conjugal love, the words used by the priest to describe faith (believe, God, faith, etc.) are shown together with the words we normally use to describe conjugal love (fall in love, woman, love, etc.). Such words are italicized and shown in brackets. Also, being male, I use “man” as the subject and “woman” the object. The female readers can certainly change them around. Here we go:

- A man believes (falls in love) not because of scientific evidence but because his heart is touched by God (by the woman he loves). Faith (love) is a matter of one’s personal encounter with God (with the woman he loves) (pp. 19-23).

- Man can do everything else against his will, but he can believe (fall in love) only of his free will (p. 23).

- Believing (falling in love) is the result of a dialogue: God (the woman a man loves) touches his heart, he recognizes the touch, his heart enlightens his understanding, assent follows (i.e. this is the woman I need!). After the assent, the believer (the man) will continue to struggle as part of his faith journey (as part of the love journey) (pp. 24-26).

- Believing (falling in love) is the mind being “captured” to follow the heart. It is captured by God’s (by the woman’s) touch. Once touched, the heart is set in motion to assent, and the mind has to catch up with the heart. Therefore, theology (love) is like a pilgrim journey – a journey in which the mind is constantly chasing the heart, and the heart pulling the mind (pp. 24-26).

Who is this priest who is such a profound and romantic lover? Joseph Cardinal Razinger, who subsequently became Pope Benedict XVI. His theological insights are summarized from his book, Pilgrim Fellowship of Faith – The Church as Communion; and the related pages shown in brackets.

My Fountain of Love and Life Christmas Button Brings Love!

The Starbucks at beautiful and historic Main Street, Unionville was busy as usual when I hurried in during the hectic morning hours, happy to take a momentary shelter from the bone-chilling temperatures outside. The weather was as brutal as I could remember for the longest time at this time of the year. It was a long line-up. The customers were getting restless as the minutes ticked away and the time available for reporting to work got shorter. The attendant at the counter was working away methodically. While still friendly, her eyes were showing stress as she glanced nervously at the line that seemed to get only longer. Finally it was my turn.

"Tall blonde please," I gave her my order hastily and handed her my Starbucks gold card. For some reason unknown to me, her tired eyes suddenly lighted up and her face broke into a broad and hearty smile. "I like that!" she said staring at my chest. "I should get one of those!" she continued, letting down the guard that was usually there behind her professional friendliness, and warming up to me as though I were a good old high-school pal of hers.

Following her stare, I looked at my chest curiously. Then I finally realized what she was saying: loosely clipped to my parka was a Fountain of Love and Life Christmas button that said, “It’s OK to say Merry Christmas to me!”

I know what the button is for. It’s a declaration of my personal belief in the true meaning of Christmas; it’s a sign of recognition that tickles people’s nostalgia for the good old times; it’s my personal protest against the Christian culture in general that has become too eager to conform to the secular world by adopting an “all-inclusive” identity that effectively means no identity. It is many things but perhaps none more important than the fact that it has become a bridge, a common denominator, if you will, that breaks down human barriers and connects me with strangers who suddenly see in me the love of Christ that seems to have disappeared at this special time of the year when it’s supposed to shine most brightly.

“Merry Christmas!” the Starbucks attendant handed me my tall blonde cheerfully and smiled at me one more time to see me off lovingly. I had walked into the store feeling like a piece of frozen meat. But now I walked out with my coffee in hand and a heart filled with warmth and joy all because of a Christmas button!

Who Is the True Mother?

Many people are familiar with the biblical story about the judgment of King Solomon (1 Kgs 3:16-28), in which two women claimed to be the mother of the same baby. As a result, Solomon decided to cut the baby into two halves to settle the dispute. In order to save the baby, the true mother was willing to give it to the other woman. But the false mother insisted that the baby be killed. Naturally, based on their reactions, Solomon, the wise King, was able to tell who the true mother was.

Interestingly, in the “ordeal” that I referred to in my recent posts, we also have two “mothers” making claim to the same baby. One “mother” is doing everything she can to kill the baby: threatening everyone who attempts to take part in feeding the baby, trying to forcefully remove the baby from its shelter, taking much pleasure in telling the whole world that she is in the process of killing the baby, etc. If this mother prays – not sure she does - her petition is for the baby to die as soon as possible.

On the other hand, the other “mother” is doing just the opposite: doubling up her effort to find food for the baby in this critical moment when its life is in danger, pleading to the baby’s family members to come to her rescue, giving up her personal well-being and risking her own health to protect the baby, etc. This mother prays non-stop; her only petition is for God to protect the baby, even if it means a complete devastation of her personal life.

So, Mr./Ms. Reader, you are King Solomon. Who do you think is the true mother?

Flesh or Spirit (Romans 8:5-6) - What's Your Choice?

For those who live according to the flesh are concerned with the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the spirit with the things of the spirit. The concern of the flesh is death, but the concern of the spirit is life and peace. (Romans 8:5-6)

What saddens me the most in this whole ordeal that proves so disturbing and divisive is that so many of those whom we expect to lead spiritually and “walk by the Spirit”(Gal 5:16) because of God’s special callings for them, would choose flesh over Spirit when faced with the choice. On the other hand, I find much encouragement and consolation in the fact that so many ordinary Catholic faithful in the pews who, having received the grace of the Holy Spirit through baptism, would courageously embrace the lofty mission “to live our moral life in a way worthy of our sublime vocation as ‘sons in the Son’” (JPII, The Splendour of Truth, 18), and choose Spirit over flesh even if it means great personal suffering.

When Two Christian Parties Are At Odds

When two Christian parties are at odds with each other or even in rivalry, it’s easy for people standing on the sideline to accuse everyone involved of “un-Christian behaviours”. Understandably, people get even more frustrated when the hostilities come from rivalling ministries that profess to spread the Christian faith and promote Christian love: Why can’t they co-exist? How ironic those who profess to spread the Christian faith are the first ones to abandon it, and those who claim to promote Christian love are the first ones to resort to hatred and retaliatory measures!

Sadly, history tells us that such accusations are often valid, as are in the case of the schisms of the Orthodox Church and the Protestant Reformation in the 11th and 16th centuries respectively, “for which, often enough, men of both sides were to blame”, the Catholic Church admitted honestly (Vatican II, Decree on Ecumenism, n. 3).

On the other hand, history also tells us it is not uncommon for a truly innocent party to get muddied by a dispute that is triggered and fuelled by the other party whose aggression, unjust persecution, or even violence make it necessary for the innocent party to defend itself. Therefore, while it’s fair for the bystanders to get frustrated when such unfortunate disputes happen, they need to observe carefully before accusing anybody. It’s important to keep in mind that those who judge without making the effort to understand the whole story and the rights and wrongs involved stand to be judged for making hasty accusations, which are not only unfair and unhelpful, but also add to the woe of the innocent party who is already suffering from malice, violence, and injustice.

Jesus often finds himself caught in heated exchange of words with the scribes and Pharisees, to the point that he calls them “hypocrites”, “white-washed tombs” that appear clean outside but are filled with all kinds of filth inside, “serpents”, and “brood of vipers” (Mt. 23:27-33).

St. Paul fares no better. His fierce battles with the false apostles, false prophets, and Jewish opponents from the synagogues, both verbal and physical, are well documented in the pages of his epistles and the Acts of the Apostles. Their squabbles were not pretty. At one point, St. Paul had to defend himself against the charges of the Temple authorities of the Jews and their lawyer in a Roman court presided over by the Roman governor Felix (Acts 24 ff.)!

Those who insist that God loving people should always be able to work things out among themselves out of humility and love for God will have a hard time understanding these unfortunate experiences encountered by many saintly people in the history of the Church. There were many innocent victims in the long history of the Church who suffered unjust aggression and persecution. Like Jesus and St. Paul, they are to be admired and complimented for their courage to stand up against unjust instigators and bullies, not criticized.

In 2,000 years of Church history, there’s no lack of people like them: St. Stephen, St. Ignatius of Antioch, St. Polycarp, St. Justin Martyr… Need I go on? Let me conclude this reflection by mentioning a more recent Church figure who shines like a supernova in the history of the Church when it comes to staring down unjust aggressors: the Blessed John Henry Newman, who had been badly slandered and maligned by high-ranking and powerful clergy and officials in the Church ever since his conversion from Anglicanism to Catholicism at age 45 until his exoneration by Pope Leo XIII at the ripe old age of 80.

Similarly, for those who still believe in throwing their weight around, I will leave them with a few words from the Gospel as food for thought: What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? (Mt. 16:26)

Blessed Are They Who Are Persecuted for the Sake of Righteousness...

It was quite an experience to do my morning exercise in the midst of gusting winds of 25 km/hour, zero-degree wind chill, and drifting rain! But as Fr. Raymond de Souza said in this morning's National Post, it was special to be outdoor in this time of the year when nature itself appeared to be going through a process of dying.

The Toogood Pond was richly adorned with rustic fall colors. Could this be the swan song of nature - its last wail of sadness, as it were - before the arrival of winter? The exercise was a daunting task. Dragging me down was a sensation of heaviness caused not by an over-weighted body but a heart filled with sorrow. There I was, a figure of solitude, huffing and puffing in a world where death was looming large...

Another attack, another setback! Similar attacks and setbacks have happened, well, I don't know how many times in the last year or two - I've lost track...

Despite the hardships and the frustrations, we never rolled over and died, nor did we strike back and respond in kind. Not even once. Our team had decided to follow Jesus' exhortation to accept persecution for the sake of righteousness. We stood our ground; we persisted and continued to pursue our ministry of evangelization for the greater good; we were not afraid to point out our enemy's unjust aggression - both to them and to the authorities concerned, and were steadfast in defending our rights. But not once did we return evil with evil.

I think we've done very well so far. I believe the way we approach this whole trying experience is pleasing to God, who shows his providence by picking us up whenever we're in great distress. As a result, we can take comfort in the sentiments of David, who was unjustly persecuted by his enemies; and together with him we pray:

But I will sing of thy might;
I will sing aloud of thy steadfast love in the morning.
For thou hast been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress. (Psalm 59:16-17)

Like David and all humble servants of the Lord who are prepared to suffer for the sake of righteousness, we hear Jesus’ assuring words:

Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you and revile you, and cast out your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets. (Luke 6:22-23)

READ THE SEQUEL TO THIS POST WRITTEN ON DEC 1, 2014, ENTITLED GOD WILL DELIVER IF WE HAVE FAITH